All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
