And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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