She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
