just survived the first fart of the relationship.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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