Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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