I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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