After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
