I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
