I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
