Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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