Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
splinters make it hard to masturbate
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
sick fucks of a feather flock together
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
