Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
