Pappa wants mamma naked
Just cropdusted the office
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
