you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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