Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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