just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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