Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
