***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
