You made me cry and you don't even care
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
