my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I CAN MOONWALK!
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
