Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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