so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
i've created a new STD.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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