He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
