So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
