I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
