i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
