then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
