i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
