Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
