Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
