I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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