I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
This is classic penis vs brain.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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