You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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