My nipple is on Facebook.
Me too!
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I am one with the molecules
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
