I'm going to jail i love you
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
