the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
