i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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