I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
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