If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
