I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
