You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
