i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
