They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
