and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
