This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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