We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
