Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
