im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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