I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
