I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
